


Desolation Tragedy Is There Nothing Good In Me?

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 4x22, Angst, F/M, Feels, Hopeful Ending, Missing Scene, Post-Framework Universe (Marvel), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 07:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11481528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: A 4x22 missing scene for how the LMD Jemma came to be, featuring Mama May and a conversation between two scientists.





	Desolation Tragedy Is There Nothing Good In Me?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for weeks, and a special shout out needs to go to stjarna and Monkeybum1723 for helping inspire me to finish this and helping me work out did LMD Jemma know she was an LMD?  
> Title from Release by Imagine Dragons.

“Are you sure it’s safe?” May asked, looking between Fitz and Jemma. Her face was laced with worry. She hadn’t been happy when Jemma had voice the idea earlier, but Coulson had agreed with it, seeing it as the most logical course of action. He had refused to listen to her protests and now May just hoped that the two scientists could pull it off, that they both would come out of this alive and unharmed.

Jemma looked up at May, and although her face was calm, fear was laced in her eyes. May wonder whose benefit the calm demeanour was for; herself or Fitz? “It should be.”

Fitz looked up from the computer, a look of pain etched across his face. Guilt was still eating him up from the inside. It was all his fault that this was happening. All his fault. And now his team, _Jemma,_ were at risk and if something happened, he didn’t think he could ever forgive himself. “Jemma’s gonna be her first target, and I can’t… it’s too dangerous to let her go out there.”

“You really think that?” May asked, though she knew that it was the truth. AIDA hated Jemma, even ensuring that the woman was dead in the Framework, so that she could have Fitz to herself. May tried to push those thoughts out her mind, because it had been her who had killed Jemma in the Framework. Even though it wasn’t this Jemma, the woman who she had watched blossom and grow into the agent she was today, she couldn’t get rid of the image of her face contorted in pain, tears streaming down her face and blood soaking her jumper. Escaping that thought, that nightmare, she pulled herself back to reality.

Fitz nodded, glancing between the computer and the two women, wringing his hands nervously. “Yeah… yeah… she’s…”

Jemma saw that he was struggling to find the words, and jumped in. “She wants Fitz, wants what she had in the Framework and she can’t get that if I’m here. She wants to eliminate me, like she did there, to ensure that she can get Fitz to do what she wants. To her, I’m the biggest threat, the thing that needs to be eliminated.”

May nodded, seeming to understand but not fully agreeing. “Just don’t do anything stupid.” And with that, she was gone.

“Thank you,” Fitz said, looking once again at his coding, unable to look at her. It was just like they had done when they were in the Academy, doing presentations. For the first number, he had been extremely shy, not being able to do them so Jemma had jumped in, taking over when the anxiety of speaking became too much for him.

Jemma turned and smiled at him. “It’s okay, but Fitz, we need to talk. About everything, about _us._ ”

He shook his head, still not looking at her. “There’s nothing to discuss Jemma… what I did…” he shook his head again, the horrors replaying in his mind, the screams the soundtrack to his endless anguish.

“That wasn’t you. What AIDA did, she brainwashed you. She forced you to do that. None of that was what you wanted to do. She hurt you Fitz.” She knew the words were having no effect on him, that it would take him months, maybe even years for him to recover from this. “I’m not angry at you, I could never hate you. And our future…” she paused, taking a breath to try and compose herself, steadying her breathing. “It’s not dead.”

His head shot up and he looked at her, the words having surprised him. He opened and closed his mouth a number of times, no words leaving him. “You heard that?”

She nodded again, making her way over to him and taking one of his hands in her own. She gave it a gentle squeeze, bringing it to rest on her chest, on her still beating heart. “I never want to lose you again, never want to have to live without you again and if we have to take things slowly, take a step back and regain our footing, we will. What ever you want, what ever you need but I can’t lose you.”

He lets out a long breath, looking at his hand in her own then met her eyes, the soft whiskey sparkling, full of love, showing him that it was okay, that she was okay, that it would all be okay. And he tried to believe them, he really did but the voice telling him that he wasn’t bad, that he wasn’t the Doctor was drowned out by the Inhumans he hurt, he tortured, he killed. And Jemma’s cry when he shot her.

She can see the pain bleeding from his own eyes, a soft blue that she had fallen in love with when she was sixteen but now the twinkle that had always resided there had vanished, replaced by pain and sorrow. “I love you,” he whispered, the words hesitant as though he were scared to actually be speaking them. “But I’m scared.”

“Of what?” She knows that opening up is going to be hard for him, but it’ll be the best thing for him, not having to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. She had done it herself for so many years that she knew just how hard it was, the impacts that it had on life. And she didn’t want that for him, she didn’t want him to have to go through that.

“Of hurting you.” Tears clung to his lashes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking, and she pulled him into her arms, and running a reassuring hand up and down his back as he let his emotions out again, resting his head on her shoulder. She let hers come to rest on top of his, as though she were trying to curl around him, protect him from the horrors of the world.

She murmured reassurances as he cried, promising him that no matter what she would always be there for him, that she would help him, that she would be there for him in his darkest moments just like he had been there for her. That they were going to survive this, that the cosmos wasn’t going to win. That she wasn’t going to let the cosmos win.

After a number of minutes, he pulled out of her hug, using his sleeve to wipe away his tears. “We need to finish the…”

“The LMD,” Jemma finished. They had decided that using an LMD Jemma would be the safest thing, at least until AIDA had been destroyed. They had managed to find the one of Jemma, hidden on the Zephyr, they had no idea how it had gotten there, they thought that maybe one of the other LMDs had placed it there when they had went on the rescue mission for Mace, that it had been left there until they could have switched her out.

It had been undeniably creepy seeing it there, a fake version of herself, eyes closed, arms by its side and standing in a closet. Now it was still creepy, lying on the table, eyes still closed and arms still by its side. But it was the best option, one of their only options if they were going to get their plan to work. From the start Coulson had wanted Jemma to stay back, wanting Piper to take the two scientists to safety, but both of them had objected. Jemma had told him that it was them that AIDA had wanted, not anyone else and taking them away would not lure her back to the base but to whatever location they would have fled to.

Coulson had nodded, understanding what she was saying and when Jemma had brought up the fact they had found the LMD, he had agreed with using it to help lure AIDA back to base, using it as bait. Fitz had objected at first, not wanting Jemma to have anything to do with it, but she had reassured him that it would be okay, that _she_ would be okay and eventually he had agreed.

“Yeah,” he replied, looking back down at the screen. The coding, to Jemma, looked finished. “That’s it… I just need to…”

She took a seat on the stool, running her hand through her hair for no other reason than for something to do with her hands. “I trust you.”

He looked at her once again, blinking but did nothing except reach for the head piece, and walk over to her. He placed it gently on her head, his fingers ensuring that all the sensors were in the right place. “It’ll take fifteen minutes or so…”

“That’s fine.” The conversation was still awkward and Jemma hated the fact that it made her uncomfortable. There was too much silence. With Fitz, normally, silences, they were easy, they were nice. They didn’t need to speak, they could just stand side by side and watch the sunrise together and not have to worry about the words that remained unspoken but now there were too many words hanging unspoken between them, filling the space between them and jabbing painfully into her, leaving invisible bruises on her heart. “Is it going to know? The LMD? Is it going to know it’s an LMD?”

He shook his head, dragging his feet over to the LMD and placing the headpiece on it before making his way back to the computer, reading the code and adjusting anything that needed adjusting before uploading it into the LMD. “It won’t know.”

“If it is hurt, if something does happen, it’s not me Fitz. I’ll be safe, I promise you. And as soon as I can, I’ll come to you. No matter what I’ll come to you.”

He licked his lips. “Okay.”

“We’ll survive this Fitz, we’ll make it through this. And then we’ll get away, the two of us and we’ll work through this. Like we’ve worked through everything else…”

“Together?”

“Together.”

They spend the next fifteen minutes in silence as Fitz continued working, mapping her brain. It was so different from the last times that it had happened; from when the Fitz LMD had done it, to when he was first experimenting with the technology.

It had seemed so innocent all those months ago when he had first created it, and so useful. A way of helping and now it had hurt. Caused pain. But she didn’t blame him, she had never blamed him once, and she wouldn’t. It was Radcliffe and AIDA who had twisted its use.

It had happened so many times in history, and would continue to happen in the future. Something seemingly innocent being used to hurt; TNT being an example, the original purpose of that was a simple yellow dye, something that tended to be forgotten when compared to what it was infamous for.

“It’s done,” Fitz said, coming over and removing the headpiece, his fingertips ghosting her temples. “You should… you should leave. She’ll… it’ll be waking up soon and confusing it…” He carried the headpiece, careful not to drop it or get caught in the wires, and placed it back on the desk. Jemma, meanwhile rose, and made her way past him, allowing her fingers to trail lightly across his back, showing him that she was here for him, no matter what.

She didn’t speak again until she was in the doorway, turning to face him. “We’ll be okay, won’t we?”

He looked up from the computer and nodded. “Yeah, we will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think LMD Jemma knew she was an LMD, it was her begging to Fitz to make the pain stop that makes me think that but feel free to let me know what you think! Thanks for checking out, and hope you enjoyed!


End file.
